Thursday 11 June 2015

Marly

Mummy told me today that a horse would arrive!

A horse. Can you believe that? I am expected to share my yard with a horse!

Mum says she is beautiful!

I think she's huge! She's dark. She eats grass. And she did this crazy thing of laying on her back and kicking her legs in the air!

Dad says she is borrowed, and I say her owner can come get her!

I had the worst experience ever. I was put on my chain and she was let in the yard. She walked right up to me. She wanted to eat me! I'm sure of it!

Mum says I barked until my face was white with foam! Dad pointed to the spots of foam between my eyes! It wouldn't have happened if they hadn't let that thing in my yard!

I hope she is not coming on our trip with us! I'm not giving her my seat in the car!

Her owner turned up. I thought he was going to take her away, but he only lead her right down the back. Dad says she can munch all that out for the next couple of days! Mum says that Marly needs to be put into the bigger section of the yard the morning we go!

Marly gets to be the guard dog for a little while!

After she was put way down the back, I relaxed. But Turbo (also known as Slowmo) wouldn't leave her alone! He barked and barked and barked.

Marlys owner said that Marly ignores dogs barking at her, but if the dog gets close enough and jump up, she kicks out at them! Hope Slowmo heard that and doesn't try to eat her! I think he would stink if she kicked him! Apparently horses can kill dogs! And I think Slowmos people wouldn't find him for a few days! (He lets himself out for walks, so they might assume he's out walking himself!)

I'm now going to go back to my warm spot in front of the fire!!

Wishing you many happy barky days!

Hannibal

Saturday 6 June 2015

Adopt a fox!

What?! Is my mum crazy? She is considering the idea of adopting a fox as a pet! People shoot those annoying critters! Farmers hate them! Yet, apparently, there is an adopt a fox agency in Sydney! I need to look into that! And apparently, here in New South Wales, foxes are not labeled a feral species!

And now mum is very much liking the idea of adopting a fox, having a borrowed horse, having two cats and me! I'm not even ok with the idea of two cats! The last one shredded my ears, punched my nose, bit me, scratched me and got me in trouble! And she wants two of them?

And as for this fox - I won't have to share my fire place with it will I? Apparently I will have to share my fire place with the cats when they arrive!

Oh no. I won't be sharing the fire with the horse will I?

No, mum, I don't want any more fur babies living here! Especially if it means I have to share my place in front of the fire with them!

Wishing you many happy barky days!

Hannibal

Tuesday 2 June 2015

Smoochy pooch

Today I felt extra huggy, so I snugged up to mum, then I shared myself with dad, then I offered to help the cub eat her home made pizza!

The reason I was so smoochy was because today was soooo cold! Mums feet were frozen. And dad was rugged up so much. Mum said it was only 17 degrees in the lounge with the fire on!

Mum also said that fresh dog poop that gets frozen overnight looks interesting!

Ah, the life of a dog living the high life here at Mendozas Chalet.

Wishing you many happy barky days!

Hannibal

Monday 1 June 2015

"Neighbour gods"

Tonight I barked and barked and barked. I dint really know what I was barking at, but it was very important at the time!

It obviously frustrated mum a bit, cause she sent dad to get me inside.

As dad was getting my the "neighbour gods" yelled out at me to "get down". I assure you and her that I was not up! And as mum said, I was most likely barking at her (the "neighbour god").

As dad says, yelling at a dog like that will certainly win friends and influence people! But are you sure you want to be around such angry people? I know I don't like them!

One night one of them swore at my mum and I got real angry. I told mum to go inside, I would gladly teach that rude cretin a lesson or two!

Now dad is calling them "neighbour gods"! I'm pretty sure he's heaping on the sarcasm! By yelling the way they do, I'm amazed they have friends!

Mum says I was being a bit noisy. But surely it wasn't bad enough to be yelled at like that! I wish people could learn to be a little more polite!

Wishing you many happy barky days!

Hannibal

Thursday 28 May 2015

Evolution

Moo moo moo... Yes! I'm trying to evolve into a cow! I have the same basic shape (4 legs, a head and a tail), so in theory, it should be relatively simple!

Though, it is proving to be easier said than done! Mum is encouraging me, while dad is saying its impossible! I hope I live long enough to see the changes! I've got my "moo" sorted out pretty good! But to be a cow requires more than a moo!!

I need to change my jaw shape slightly, so I will be more effective at eating grass. I've got to change my stomach slightly and add a couple of extra ones! I need to do away with my paws and change them into cow hoofs! And, sadly, I need to stop barking at the postie! Actually, come to think about it - I need to stop barking altogether!

Hmm, these changes are difficult to manage! I'm not a geneticist, and so am having distinct trouble with the gene change!

My trip down the evolutionary road is getting more and more difficult!

Not to mention that mum just informed me that if I do become a cow, I'll never ride in the car again, and I'll never sleep in front of the fire again, in fact, I'll never be allowed in the house again! I'll be expected to mow the lawn and park my poop in one place to make manure collection easier!

All these down sides to trying to evolve! Why did I think that being a cow would be better than being a dog? Mum also said that I won't get my belly rubbed, nor will I get hugs and pats!

Is it too late for me to opt out? I think I prefer to be a dog! Dad says that if i become a cow, he wont cook me dinner any more! And there seems to be no real need for me to become a cow! Mum and dad will be getting a borrowed horse soon to mow the lawn. And I think that I need to be a dog to help look after the horse! Being a cow doesn't seem to be the easiest thing to pull off! I might just stick with being a dog for a while yet!

Maybe next year I might try to evolve into a cat! Wish me luck!

Wishing you many happy barky days!

Hannibal