Thursday 28 May 2015

Evolution

Moo moo moo... Yes! I'm trying to evolve into a cow! I have the same basic shape (4 legs, a head and a tail), so in theory, it should be relatively simple!

Though, it is proving to be easier said than done! Mum is encouraging me, while dad is saying its impossible! I hope I live long enough to see the changes! I've got my "moo" sorted out pretty good! But to be a cow requires more than a moo!!

I need to change my jaw shape slightly, so I will be more effective at eating grass. I've got to change my stomach slightly and add a couple of extra ones! I need to do away with my paws and change them into cow hoofs! And, sadly, I need to stop barking at the postie! Actually, come to think about it - I need to stop barking altogether!

Hmm, these changes are difficult to manage! I'm not a geneticist, and so am having distinct trouble with the gene change!

My trip down the evolutionary road is getting more and more difficult!

Not to mention that mum just informed me that if I do become a cow, I'll never ride in the car again, and I'll never sleep in front of the fire again, in fact, I'll never be allowed in the house again! I'll be expected to mow the lawn and park my poop in one place to make manure collection easier!

All these down sides to trying to evolve! Why did I think that being a cow would be better than being a dog? Mum also said that I won't get my belly rubbed, nor will I get hugs and pats!

Is it too late for me to opt out? I think I prefer to be a dog! Dad says that if i become a cow, he wont cook me dinner any more! And there seems to be no real need for me to become a cow! Mum and dad will be getting a borrowed horse soon to mow the lawn. And I think that I need to be a dog to help look after the horse! Being a cow doesn't seem to be the easiest thing to pull off! I might just stick with being a dog for a while yet!

Maybe next year I might try to evolve into a cat! Wish me luck!

Wishing you many happy barky days!

Hannibal